


undeniably human

by yourlocalheartbreaker



Series: sumayyah writes drabbles! [5]
Category: Criminal Minds (US TV)
Genre: F/M, Hurt Aaron Hotchner, I Don't Actually Know Whether You Can Call This Hotchniss, It's Just Me Being In My Feels, It's Just Them Being Two Sides Of The Same Coin, Sad Aaron Hotchner, i wrote it in less than an hour, there's no real plot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-03
Updated: 2021-02-03
Packaged: 2021-03-14 22:53:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 705
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29179038
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yourlocalheartbreaker/pseuds/yourlocalheartbreaker
Summary: "prentiss, this is the job. and i need to know you can be objective.""and i need to know i can be human."but what aaron hotchner really meant was that his own humanity scared him. and what emily prentiss really meant was that her own objectivity terrified her. they would never say that to the other though. they would just carry on as they were, acting like they were fine.
Relationships: Aaron Hotchner/Emily Prentiss
Series: sumayyah writes drabbles! [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2142066
Kudos: 17





	undeniably human

“Prentiss, this is the job. And I need to know you can be objective.”

“And I need to know I can be human.”

Hotch freezing. Emily staring at him expectantly. Him looking away, eyes downcast because whatever he says will give her more proof of whatever it is she’s trying to prove. Emily huffing because she has indeed proved her point to herself, but there is no joy in it. She wanted him to lash out. Say she was wrong. Say she was right.

But not remain silent like she wasn’t even worth arguing with. Because she knows he is human. It’s written all over him. The way he empathises with scared children. The way he treats fragile women. The way his voice had cracked after the arson case. The way he slammed the door to his office when Gideon resigned.

Emily tells Aaron Hotchner that she needs to know she can be human, not because she thinks that he isn’t, but because there’s so much of her past that he does not know about and that he can never know about.

Aaron tells Emily Prentiss that she needs to know she can be objective, not because he thinks that she can’t, but because his own objectivity has been called into question too many times for his career to be anything but hanging by a thread.

Prentiss goes home, and feels nothing for any of the cases they’ve solved recently. She can’t even remember what was in the files of the consults she had done. How could she? After everything she had seen- everything she had done- as Lauren Reynolds, how could she? 

She doesn’t cry as the cold water freezes her body. She doesn’t cry as she slips into her empty bed, silently wishing that there was a man that only ever slept on his stomach was there. She doesn’t cry as she closes her eyes and sees ice-blue eyes.

That terrifies her.

She knows she can be objective. She knows she is human. But sometimes she needs that reminder, and right now, she can’t find it anywhere.

Aaron Hotchner goes to his old house, and thinks about the way he had acted over the past few cases. He remembers fear, and anger, and hurt, and sadness. He does not remember a clear head or objectivity. How could he? After everything he had lost- Haley, Jason, Elle, a piece of Spencer- how could he?

He breaks down in the shower, the hot water burning her skin as he presses a hand to his mouth, choking on his sobs because he can’t keep being the person everyone needs him to do. There are tears running down his cheeks as he looks at Jack’s crib that he was meant to put away, but never got round to. He is burying his head in Haley’s pillow, which no longer smells like her.

It terrifies him.

He knows he is human. He knows that he can be objective. But sometimes he needs that reminder, but right now, it can’t be found anywhere.

They pass each other in the bullpen. His eyes are red. Her eyes are the same cold ones that greeted unsubs. Neither of them said a word to the other one.

Two years later, she would keep her composure and make her tone completely neutral as she justified his actions and the death of George Foyet. Because she had seen him sobbing over Haley. So undeniably human. And she would wish she had never said anything to him that day.

A year after that, he would break down in the shower once more, unable to make eye contact with a single member of his team as he told himself he did the right thing lying to them. Because he had seen her right before she left, unusually calm. So completely objective. And he would wish he had said something to her that day.

And the team would watch as they grounded each other. As they defended each other. As they lost their tempers and stopped pretending with the other because at the end of the day, they were both just broken dolls, stealing and forcing the pieces of the other to mould to their own body.


End file.
